Sometimes when I watch a bad movie (and this was a bad movie), I post comments on social media while watching. Here are my running comments on Werewolves on Wheels. This might be my best work……
I’m too lazy and sick to push the stream buttons, so I’m watching Werewolves on Wheels…..a 1971 movie about a biker gang that faces a problem of some kind.
The tarot reading seems to be giving us clues……
I have a bad feeling about these monks that won’t show their faces….. Also, um, that tower looks familiar
Ooooh. A black cat. Wonder what that means? Ok, the head priest of Satan speaks in rhyme.
He also needs a shower
I’m not sure we need the voiceover while he does bad things
Uh. Oh. Unpredictably, the biker chick is the bride of Satan!
The shadow work is actually pretty good
Guess if I saw it in the theater I’d see more of the “erotic” dance with the snake
Will they save her, or is it too late already?
I think the Game of thrones show runner watched this, and took “lighting” cues from it. So dark. In fairness, it is night.
Lots of watching riders with music. Good filler I guess.
Did I mention the gang is named devil’s advocates?
Their code is all for one and one for all! Just a bunch of brothers, like the stars in the sky!
Uh. Oh. She’s flipping out? Now they are making fun of each other….. And fear. They keep showing us the fire…… Now they’re dancing with music from nowhere, more filler. Though they are mocking the monks
guest comment: Rich Cameron Just how high is your fever?
Now what? Odd things are happening. I thought she was a werewolf. She just bit her partner like a vampire
Here come the werewolves!
Damn, commercial break just as the werewolves come!
Ok, so it’s the next morning and they find two dead. They ask no questions, just bury them. Nice words at the burial. They think they just fell to their death and a coyote ate at them. Apparently, you can’t say damn on this station.
The tarot reader knows someone is up. Hey, look, riding across country, with music!
How do they keep finding these gas stations in the middle of the desert? Uh oh, gas station owner isn’t being nice ….
He has to hand pump the gas?
He’s just yelling random accusations at them
Well, they let him live! Didn’t see that coming.
They’ve somehow found a junkyard in the middle of nowhere. “Why don’t we sleep in the warm cars?” “Because we’re going to burn the cars.” Makes sense.
Tarot guy….I love you, but I can’t ride with you guys anymore. Something’s wrong. We gotta get outta here.
The lead biker is Adam. That’s no coincidence? He’s asking tarot guy to stop scaring everyone with his hogwash. God, devil. Hogwash
Tarot guy being attacked by the monks from a great distance!
I swear this is a bad DnD campaign.
All asleep, so the leader wants to piss in their ears for being candy asses.
Some of my best friends are dead…. Interesting line
The woman is convinced something bad is happening. She can see something in the fire…….full moon!
Ones of the guys asking tarot guy to tell him what’s happening….. begging him for the truth. He basically said you can’t handle the truth.
Uh oh. The werewolf killed two more. Threw them in the bonfire.
They now think maybe they should go back to the evil monks to set things right. Wait, tarot guys name is Tarot!
They ride into fog. You can see the fog machine at the start…… They just disappeared and got teleported into even more the middle of nowhere. Except the women in the car.
Anyone got any acid? (note: I’m not sure if this was meant to be a line in the movie, or if the actor just wanted some, asked, and they left it in!)
We can’t win every fight with our fists, Tarot tells Adam. Adam decks Tarot for being soft. And suddenly all the bikes work again, and they leave tarot behind.
Long shot of the riding, with music.
Somehow Tarot got in front of the others, and now he and Adam are fighting. WTF?
Oddly little yelling and cheering.
What is going on?
They built a fire near tarot, and are all staring at him
Uh oh. Adam is seeing things in the fire. They all are!
She and Adam are now werewolves. The others separate and run. Bad idea
Ooooh. They ganged up and burned Adam
She, still a werewolf, hopped on a bike and rode off. Chase!
I mean, it’s pitch black with bikers carrying torches as they ride. Inevitable crash and burn . …
They went to kill the monks, who can just make the bikers collapse. They appear to have joined the monks.
That was something.
guest comments: Carole Marie Keller: I might have to watch this just to see if the review and running commentary ring true 😂 Mike Sixel: Carole Marie Keller Have some booze and friends over Julianne Sixel: Carole Marie Keller watch it for yourself if you must, but don’t do that to your friends!
guest comments: Julianne Sixel, This seems like more work than pushing the streaming button….