Today is one of those days where I need to remind myself not to be so hard on myself. I’ve been a lazy perfectionist all my life, which, let’s face it. Being lazy* and being a perfectionist is not a good combination.
* lazy probably is a bad word to use in a post about being less hard on oneself, btw.
I wrote almost 2000 words this morning, and instead of feeling good about it, I spent much of the morning beating myself up for not focusing as well as I did yesterday. I mean, if even 3/4 of those words are good words, that’s a hell of a day. I’ve never really understood this about myself. My need, and it appears to be a need after 57 years, to be something more than I am. Or, something like something more.
In this case, I just wanted to be focused, perfectly focused, like I was yesterday. Wake up, make coffee, write. No email. No Twitter. Not even nanowrimo discord…….
And, yet, I spent a good amount of time online this morning. It really is a habit I am going to break this winter. Inspired by my friend (and fellow nanowrimo participant) Matthew Taber-Hanson, I’ve already cut way back on Facebook. Unlike him, though, I do use it to generate a bit of business, so I won’t totally be off it any time soon. Though, man, it is such a small amount of money I make there, maybe I should. What an awful company.
Speaking of rich people that are probably awful…..I’ve named the mean dad in my book Jefflon, after Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. The name is likely a placeholder, but it is clever and does amuse me, so maybe it will stay. I wonder if I left it….how many people would get the reference. Probably more than a few, as the city he lives in is Bezo Musk (ok, that name is 100% a placeholder).
Anyway. All that is way off topic. The point, Mike, is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up so much. ESPECIALLY when you’ve actually been productive and achieved more than your daily goal……
Good day and good luck to all the creators (and everyone else) out there!